My topic today revolves around a book. I love books. I love to read them. I love turning the pages. I love the smell of them. (but this is all besides the point!) Now, there's this book. It has been staring at me for a month and a half. I say staring, because the author's face on the cover is literally staring at me- telling me to open up, she won't bite! But I'm not too certain (it is Bethenny Frankel we're talking about). I received the book as a birthday present. I am all for gifting books and spreading the gift of words, but this wasn't any kind of book or present. It seemed to be a self-help book. I won't lie, I need help. But it seemed a little harsh that the only present I received was this self-help book entitled A Place of Yes: 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life. Read this book and you will get everything you want out of life. Sounds great, let's crack it open, right? wrong.
This book has been on my book shelf since May. I've had plenty of time to pick it up, flip the pages, make notations if I was inspired; but it has just sat there. Collecting dust. Collecting No's. I did read the first ten pages, before it retired to the book shelf. But it didn't hold my attention to keep reading. I was resentful (like Bethenny Frankel was the one who ruined my life) and was certain I was not going to get anything I wanted out of life, let alone everything I wanted.
Let's take it back a step further. I adore Bethenny Frankel; so before it starts to seem like I don't want to read this because she doesn't know what she's talking about, that couldn't be further from the truth. Her hopeful cynicism, snarky optimism, and business-centered mind (yet family oriented heart) have kept me entertained from BRAVO's Real Housewives of NY, and her own series. She is an amazing woman, and we can only hope to be selling our creations to male-centered companies one day. So my disdain for reading this book has absolutely nothing to do with her, her credentials as a writer, or her knowledge of life. It's all coming from me; coming from a place of NO (I'd find out once I opened the book[or just read the darn cover]).
I'll just cut to the chase: I finally opened it. I don't know if it was because of all the free time on my hands. Or maybe because I was ready to go there, and open up all those wounds again. I'd like to think that the reason was I was ready to say yes (not to the dress- I wish!). "A place of yes is a way to get through things when you feel it is impossible to do so." p10 I feel that quote fits perfectly (considering I've been feeling like it's impossible to do anything these last few months). So the book is open! The mind is moving-- and I hope your's is too.
Before I dive in to rule 1, we need to become familiar with a few terms. noise & voice. On page 11, starts the ever-so-important distinguishing between your noise and your voice. Read it. Embrace it. Learn to love it (because we will be hearing it A LOT along our bumpy ride) I'll keep it simple for blogging sake. "To me, noise is what gets in your way. It's a self-generated obstacle, the negative tlak inside your head that keeps you down, too afraid to go for what you want." p11 (Bethenny gives us many definitions of noise, but we've only just begun, and we have to stick to the basics. My favorite part of B's take on our voice is this, "Your voice knows what's good for you and right for you and what is authentic to who you really are." Let us only hope to turn down the noise, and sing out with our voice as we continue on this journey.
Rule 1: Break the Chain
"Break the chain means recognizing the patterns you are carrying forward in your life, patterns that belonged to your past, and choosing to go a different way when those patterns are destructive." p20 Bethenny goes on to tell us of her childhood (where a lot of her noise stems from) and her way of taking what she knew, and creating something new.
I'm a big fan of sticky notes. I put sticky notes on a-ha moments, on funny anecdotes, and hard truths. I don't want to go into to much detail (since this blog is almost to the length of unreadable), but I want to leave you with my stick note version of rule 1. (and hope you can add your "sticky notes" for me as well)
"Coming from a place of yes means turning your childhood noise into a voice that shows you what kind of mother you want to be, what kind of human being you want to be." p37
"The thing about childhood noise is that if you let it take over, it can obliterate your true nature. The best qualities in you have always been there, but when you get stuck in the past and make your pain your identity, then that's what you become." p60
Before I head out to walk the dog (doesn't he look so interested -->), I'll leave you with this confession. I am afraid. I do not always sticky note what I believe is the truest of truths. I'm not ready for it all. But by opening up this book, I hope to get there. And my yes comes from a very hopeful (yet broken) heart. So bear with me, and I hope we all learn something about ourselves, about each other, and about life.
Lesson Learned: opening a book may very well = opening your mind.
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