Book in-review

good afternoon! I come writing this blog in an unfamiliar setting-- my patio is the room. my desk is the top of a too-small dog kennel. my light is the sun. and my background noise is full of birds and my downstairs neighbor's British father yelling at her.

My topic today revolves around a book. I love books. I love to read them. I love turning the pages. I love the smell of them. (but this is all besides the point!) Now, there's this book. It has been staring at me for a month and a half. I say staring, because the author's face on the cover is literally staring at me- telling me to open up, she won't bite! But I'm not too certain (it is Bethenny Frankel we're talking about). I received the book as a birthday present. I am all for gifting books and spreading the gift of words, but this wasn't any kind of book or present. It seemed to be a self-help book. I won't lie, I need help. But it seemed a little harsh that the only present I received was this self-help book entitled A Place of Yes: 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life. Read this book and you will get everything you want out of life. Sounds great, let's crack it open, right? wrong. 

This book has been on my book shelf since May. I've had plenty of time to pick it up, flip the pages, make notations if I was inspired; but it has just sat there. Collecting dust. Collecting No's. I did read the first ten pages, before it retired to the book shelf. But it didn't hold my attention to keep reading. I was resentful (like Bethenny Frankel was the one who ruined my life) and was certain I was not going to get anything I wanted out of life, let alone everything I wanted.

Let's take it back a step further. I adore Bethenny Frankel; so before it starts to seem like I don't want to read this because she doesn't know what she's talking about, that couldn't be further from the truth. Her hopeful cynicism, snarky optimism, and business-centered mind (yet family oriented heart) have kept me entertained from BRAVO's Real Housewives of NY, and her own series. She is an amazing woman, and we can only hope to be selling our creations to male-centered companies one day. So my disdain for reading this book has absolutely nothing to do with her, her credentials as a writer, or her knowledge of life. It's all coming from me; coming from a place of NO (I'd find out once I opened the book[or just read the darn cover]).

I'll just cut to the chase: I finally opened it. I don't know if it was because of all the free time on my hands. Or maybe because I was ready to go there, and open up all those wounds again. I'd like to think that the reason was I was ready to say yes (not to the dress- I wish!). "A place of yes is a way to get through things when you feel it is impossible to do so." p10 I feel that quote fits perfectly (considering I've been feeling like it's impossible to do anything these last few months). So the book is open! The mind is moving-- and I hope your's is too. 

Before I dive in to rule 1, we need to become familiar with a few terms. noise & voice. On page 11, starts the ever-so-important distinguishing between your noise and your voice. Read it. Embrace it. Learn to love it (because we will be hearing it A LOT along our bumpy ride) I'll keep it simple for blogging sake. "To me, noise is what gets in your way. It's a self-generated obstacle, the negative tlak inside your head that keeps you down, too afraid to go for what you want." p11 (Bethenny gives us many definitions of noise, but we've only just begun, and we have to stick to the basics. My favorite part of B's take on our voice is this, "Your voice knows what's good for you and right for you and what is authentic to who you really are." Let us only hope to turn down the noise, and sing out with our voice as we continue on this journey.  

Rule 1: Break the Chain
"Break the chain means recognizing the patterns you are carrying forward in your life, patterns that belonged to your past, and choosing to go a different way when those patterns are destructive." p20 Bethenny goes on to tell us of her childhood (where a lot of her noise stems from) and her way of taking what she knew, and creating something new. 
I'm a big fan of sticky notes. I put sticky notes on a-ha moments, on funny anecdotes, and hard truths. I don't want to go into to much detail (since this blog is almost to the length of unreadable), but I want to leave you with my stick note version of rule 1. (and hope you can add your "sticky notes" for me as well)
"Coming from a place of yes means turning your childhood noise into a voice that shows you what kind of mother you want to be, what kind of human being you want to be." p37
"The thing about childhood noise is that if you let it take over, it can obliterate your true nature. The best qualities in you have always been there, but when you get stuck in the past and make your pain your identity, then that's what you become." p60

Before I head out to walk the dog (doesn't he look so interested -->), I'll leave you with this confession. I am afraid. I do not always sticky note what I believe is the truest of truths. I'm not ready for it all. But by opening up this book, I hope to get there. And my yes comes from a very hopeful (yet broken) heart. So bear with me, and I hope we all learn something about ourselves, about each other, and about life. 

Lesson Learned: opening a book may very well = opening your mind. 

I must be a really bad farmer.

I feel like the major lesson/theme people were sharing with me this weekend was: You Reap what you Sow.
To put it bluntly, I must be a really bad farmer.
Everyone preaches Karma, Good things happen to good people, You Reap What you Sow, What comes around Goes Around, There's always tomorrow... These mantras, cliches rather, gut me. I'd like to think that I am a relatively good person; someone who does the right thing, lends a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on. They say that I deserve the world, and I'm great, and amazing things to come. Well lately I have been the person who needs the shoulder to cry on more often than not. I choose to change routine. I try to wake up on the right side of the bed (well, the only side that's not up against a wall), and always be as delightful as possible in the presence of others. At the end of the day though, all the trouble of putting up a front catches up with you. At the end of the day, you still feel incomplete. At the end of the day, your best just wasn't good enough.
And that's just got me to think, do we really reap what we so? Or, do only the lucky ones, and the rest of us are left to the proverbial wolves and fend for ourselves. Patience is a virtue that I ask God to possess me with daily. The waiting stage is the worst: just waiting on that moment- the one that makes you believe it was worth the wait. I know that His plan has been a humbling experience, at best. I know His plan is worth it all.
So maybe it's not about what we sow, but what He sows for us to reap. With no questions asked, and wanting nothing in return-- maybe that's why I'm undeserving at the moment. He gives so much for us to gain. Embrace it. Embrace the journey. and plant the seed in others hearts.
This was such an incomplete blog. Just wanted to make a dorky joke about being a bad farmer. Anyway, Happy Fourth of July weekend. Be Safe. Be extraordinary.   

Lesson Learned: You Reap What He Sows.

go blog about it, why don't you

Now that I've resurfaced my blog, I'm excited to experience something new tonight: Wii

A little background on my experience with video games: I have none! While I was growing up (in the glorious '90s), there were two kinds of children; those who had videos games, and those that did not. I fell into the latter category: the one that was filled with outdoor adventures, wild imaginations, dirt on your clothes, and didn't come inside until after the sun went down. I feel so blessed to have had a simple childhood when the only lifestyle that was important, was just simply living.

I won't lie, I was envious of my friends- the kids hat had the video games. I always requested to play Sonic the Hedgehog or Tiny Toon Adventures for Sega Game System, but it was nice to go home empty handed- that is, without a controller in hand.
The reason behind the Wii is it'll be a great activity for when the weather gets cold again-- and with the unpredictability of recent years, it's safe to say, I'll put it to great use! I'll also have the Wii Fit soon- and I am looking to kick some butt and feel like the Biggest Loser. (hah- hopefully in a good way).. In the meantime, I'll be practicing my Mario Kart skills. I'm a little weary; I tend to only enjoy things I'm good at. But I guess, practice makes perfect-- and maybe my real life driving skills will help me in my virtual driving competitions. 

On a less technological note, today at the building my doctor's office is in, I noticed the elevator was opened and the man said I had to use the stairs. So I head to the stairwell, with a woman who arrived at the same time, and we begin to enter as it's smoke filled and causing me short of breath. We headed out, and asked the maintenance man if we should be in the building and his response was "Yea, the elevator is just on fire downstairs".. was that response supposed to put us at ease? Regardless, I ventured my way up to the three flights of stairs, and throughout my appointment, I could see the firetrucks out the window and wonder what if I need to evacuate?? Well, guess it was taken care of, and thankfully (as far as I know) everyone was safe.
At my appointment, I was told-- well she alluded to-- the fact that the stress occurring in my body may lead to bad things or cancer. great

Well, I'm off to begin my wii-knight Mario Kart session. wish me luck, and hopefully I don't get addicted :)

Lesson Learned: I'm not coordinated enough to use the StairMaster

Humidty makes me so sticky!

Okay. So, after eight months, a broken computer/replaced hard drive just a week after my last blog, and a forgotten priority of my enjoyment of taking time to write-- I have uncovered my blog.
After reading the three blogs that I did write, made me look back on the final days of transition into a new life.. I feel like this would now be the appropriate time to pick it back up!

So, as of today, I am in the market for a new job. I forgot how stressful it is to find something without compromising your interests, or soul, in the process. But I'm just going to be patient for the time being, and try to embrace what God has in store for me. I know that we must work up the ranks, put in the brunt work, and stay faithful to get anywhere while keeping your dignity intact.

This is my first summer in Eugene in two years, and I forgot the disaster the weather leaves my hair. The humidity is not nice to a girl like me. Since it's been sunny a total of 5 days this year, maybe it's time to take the snow chains out of the car? I'm not quite convinced.

Well, I'm just going to keep this short: but I'm back! :) Hope you all enjoy hearing about my new (mis)adventures!

                       Lesson Learned: Faith does not come without pain

New location. same girl.

So it's been a few days and there's been much to update you on:
1. I've moved- This is my third day in the new apartment and still trying to get adjusted to days full of organizing; instead of disney trivia.
2. Summer can walk! - next blog will have some exciting pictures to see how her amazing recovery has been going.
3. Unpacking and organizing is more expensive and time consuming than i thought.

Anyways, on to a little anecdote for the day. My mom and I went to Costco yesterday to stock up on some items for the apartment. After we finished shopping, we grabbed a bite to eat at the snack shack there- who can resist a greasy slice of pizza and a churro?!- and I chose a table to sit down at. Little did I know, that this table belonged to a group of elderly women. Yes- belonged to them! This group of about six women gather weekly at these specific Costco eating area benches- including the one I was sitting in- to chat and gossip about the other ladies who decided not to show up that day! They were witty, engaging, and sincerly youthful. As we left, I turned to them and said "You guys can have your table back now! I don't want you all to be talking about me when I leave." We laughed. It was a great lunch, and gave me a good lesson of friendship and happiness.

Also, I'm really excited- I got a new book. It's called The Wednesday Sisters, and from the first two chapters, it seems to be like a fantastic read. I will keep you posted, and pass it along.

Now I will leave you with a lesson and some lyrics that speak all too true these days...

"So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up"


lesson learned: never be too old to make time for friends.

come to my window..

If you know me, you know a few things for certain:
 1. I'm a oral hygene freak
and,
 2. The strangest things happen to me.
So it's really no wonder why I ended up breaking into the bathroom the the window in order to brush my teeth.

The door of my bathroom is old. It's old enough for the door knob to get stuck in the jam and provide my with a headache- trying to come up with a plan to get in the bathroom- after all, it had been all day without brushing my teeth. After spending the day jimmy-rigging the door, to try and pry the lock out of the door, my mom suggested I go through the outside-in.
Now if you can't go under it. Can't go over it. We all know what you have to do- go through it! And that's just what I did. Although I'm not scared of ladders, the thought of hoisting myself into a small window that dumps you into the shower with nowhere to land gives you something to think about... I managed to fit in the window just fine. But the door still remained stuck.
It was as though I was on an HGTV show gone wrong. Here I am- never had to do any sort of manual labor- hammering the door jams off to take the door off. After the jams were off and feeling accomplished- the door still remained stuck. So I pried the door open using a screwdriver and hammer eventually, and boy was the gratification of sweat, manual labor, and breaking in worth the breathe of fresh spearmint flavor of Crest toothpaste.

Enjoy the mental image of me doing this, and it'll be all the more entertaining!



Happy Tuesday!
Go Philies!


Lesson learned: always stay small enough to fit through windows.

First and foremost...

Hello friends! Welcome to my blog (:

I hope that this will serve as a communicative tool into my life while I am away conquering the world. I want to be able to share my world, while I am away from yours! Please bear with me, as I get used to the formatting of the site and the regularity of posting. 

Moving on...

I would just like to briefly mention my Friday night, which was spent with amazing people! I can't tell you how loved I have felt over this past year by my work family. They are the most creative, imaginative, and embracing people I have met and I'm so thankful for knowing them. It was an interesting night- not just because the bar had taxidermy animal heads on the wall! Thank you for all who came out and shared on of my last evenings on California soil with me. Here are a few lasting memories:

                                     

That's it for now, but expect lots more on the move soon! 

Lesson learned: work friends can be great real friends.